Thursday, August 30, 2007

baby names

I needed to write about this, even though it has nothing to do with the not winning lately Sox. I was enjoying a cup of bad coffee when ol' Al Roker went to say hi to a baby in the Today Show crowd. STONE. The baby's name was Stone. I can only hope that his last name is Jackson, because the only thing more silly than being named Stone is having a middle name of Wall and the last name Jackson.

Here is a list of baby names from 1994 in NYC, abbreviated of course:

Weird names for Boys:
Abba, Abyss, Amen, Andrew's (note the apostrophe, as if the mother were reminding herself of who the father was!), Apple, As-Matik (say it fast, you'll see what I mean), Bear, Blade, Brando (8 different ones!), Charm, Confession, Dwarf (I don't even want to think about that kid's childhood),GQ (must have been a handsome lad), Gal, Go, Godly, Gospel, Hey (makes it easy to call him in for dinner, Hey! Hey! HEY!), Holy, Infinite (3 different Infinites, you do the math!), Knight Sir Lancelot (I'm not kidding),Lisa (A boy named Lisa?),Nadir (which means "absolute lowest point", thanks Mom.), Stalin, Stallone, Truth ($100 bucks the kid becomes pathological liar), Unique (15 different Uniques, and one Uneek, which when you think about it,makes him unique)
Weird Names for Girls:
Alaska, Albert, Beautiful, Beautiphul (beautiful, but in a strange way), Boat, Chaos (what were they thinking?), Chevy (I mean, why not Saab?), Chevette, Choice (as in, "If I had one, I'd have chosen another name!), Cuba, Dynasty, Final (does this mean her younger sister is a mistake?), Galaxy (hope she ain't shy), He (a she named He?), Infinity (I guess infinity is any gender), N/A (as in, not applicable?), Nada, Precious, Angel, Prince, Promise, Providence, Sin, Sparkle, Story, Symphony, Tall (you better hope she is, that's all I have to say), Tangerine, Tequila (this means Mom won't get upset the first time you come home wasted)

All I can say is sorry Dan, but this isn't a contest. For the sake of any offspring you may have, don't name him / her Sandwich no matter how much you love them.

8 comments:

Dan said...

I do love babies and sandwiches, but I think I would be confused if I named the baby sandwich. I might put a diaper on the sandwich and eat the baby.

Then again, babies LOOK awfully tasty.

luke said...

I like that you post as yourself, "and the gang." You are a whole bunch of interesting people.

Tuan said...

Rae made the point of Stone Phillips, I say it's the Colon Powell factor. Just because there is a famous person by that name, doesn't make it a good idea.

Anonymous said...

I know of a girl named Adora. Adora Bell (the last name escapes me). Adora Bell… seriously. That’s annoying.

luke said...

Everybody's favorites in Philly, might be an urban myth but its the kind where everyone knows someone who might know them:
Lemonjello and Orangello (luh-MON-juh-lo, o-RON-juh-lo) for a girl and boy, respectively, I think.

Josh said...

That's it. I'm naming the first offspring

Princess Sparkle Edwards

Regardless of gender.

Bridggymama said...

in philly I taught a Urina and an Indyyiah (India) and Indryyiah (not sure how to pronouce it even now and besides they were crazy twins so I try not to think much about them) and a kid whose name was mister-tyrel, no joke, mister as a first name. HA HA

Anonymous said...

I had a student named Dusty Glasscock. No joke. Bad name, mother named Zsa Zsa, weird laugh. Poor kid never stood a chance.